Friday, October 3, 2008

$tOrM

Within all of us there is a storm
Some believe it will never end
But he who has faith in the Heavens
Will weather ANY storm...

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Just another day in PaRaDi$e...

So this hasn't so much been my week. In fact I think that it would be safe to say that it hasn't really been my semester. Let me just give you a little idea of what I mean when I say that things haven't been going my way so much. I will share with you just one day's events to illustrate why I feel justified in saying it hasn't so much been my semester, it might be TOO overwhelming to think of all the not so great days that I have had this semester in one sitting. Every day this semester has been VERY similar tO what I am about to share with you.
This past Sunday I was in Sunday school and we were talking about secular knowledge verses spiritual knowledge. Just recently being called to serve as a Gospel Doctrine Teacher I felt it necessary to help out my fellow teacher by commenting and participating in class. As I was sharing some of my thoughts, I had a little slip of the tongue and when I was trying to say "secular knowledge" it came out "sexual knowledge". Oh dear! I was sooooo embarrassed. I was hoping that the instructor would save me from being the focus of attention and say something but he didn't. Later he told me that he wanted to give me the chance to try to redeem myself but there was no way I could! I was so fluster and blushing so badly that I couldn't say ANYTHING and just sat there trying not to DIE right there on the spot. Not so bad you may think... but that was not the end of my Sabbath day adventures. It was fast and testimony meeting that same day in our ward and I felt prompted to share with the congregation my testimony. As I stood up and went to step over my roommate, Stephanie, to go to the pulpit my skirt got caught on my shoe and I bet you can guess what happened next. Yep! I de-skirted myself in the middle of our fast and testimony meeting. I honestly thought I was going to DIE and I kinda wanted to, to be completely honest. I sat down as quickly as I could and tried to pull my skirt back up as fast as I could. I sat there and just laughed at myself, along with everyone else who was sitting behind me and my roommate. After a few minutes I decided that I would go ahead and share my testimony anyways... I had shared everything else with them, why not just throw everything out on the table? My bishop called later that night and said that he was worried about me and wanted to me meet with ASAP. I had a meeting with the bishop and right before I left to go see him I decided to clean the bathroom with bleach, not a good idea because I splashed it right in my eye and I thought that I was going to go blind. I didn't but my eye was REALLY blood-shot and my bishop thought that I had been crying all day. I wish I had been crying because maybe that would have washed out some of the bleach. I was even trying to think of something really sad so that I could cry, but I couldn't.
I thought that as soon as I got into my home, passed my CADC test and started this semester of school my life would slow down just a little bit, I was wrong... I was WAY wrong! Things aren't bad, and I am happy but I just feel like my world is spinning out of control and there is almost nothing that I can do to get a handle on it, not yet anyways. I'm the type of person who likes to be in control and on top of everything. I feel uncomfortable and get frustrated when things don't go EXACTLY the way I want them to. This is something that I am learning to overcome and deal with. I am learning to go with the flow, to relax a little bit and enjoy life. There really is only so much that I can do and I have finally came to accept that.
Doctrine and Covenants 123:16-17
"You know, brethren, that a very large ship is benefited very much by a very small helm in the time of a storm, by being kept workways with the wind and the waves."
"Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us CHEERFULLY do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed."
I honestly have seen my Father in Heaven's arm be revealed in my life during the past semester. While it's true that I may feel that I don't have the control that I would like to have right now in my life I know that my Father in Heaven does have that control. I am learning to trust in Him even when I may not understand completely. I can't think of anything else I'd rather be doing right now than what I am doing. I am so thankful for this learning and growing opportunity and will continue to do all things that lie in my power... CHEERFULLY!!! Life is soooo GOOD!!!